Getting married is one of the biggest events in our lives. A wedding in a Donauschwaben house was no different. Different, however were the elaborate preparations, costumes and traditions. Let us reflect briefly on a typical wedding. The parents themselves had very little to do with the selection of the mate. The young people usually met each other at the dances in the “Wirtshaus” (guesthouse). The eligible male candidates were often sharply scrutinized by the eyes of the future mother-in-law, during those dances. Most of the time couples found themselves without any interference from their parents. After the engagement, preparations were made for the bride’s dresses and the groom’s suit. In Batschsentiwan the bride made four white aprons with beautifully stitched patterns two for the groom and two for her, to be worn one on each day of the wedding. As wedding pictures show this custom may have been unique for Batschsentiwan.

     Die Versprechung (the promising) was a wonderful ritual and was held the fourth Sunday prior to the wedding in front of the parents and in the presence of the bridesmaid and the best man. The groom placed a golden coin into the hands of the bride and both promised to love each other. This promise was sealed with holy water. A festival dinner followed this ceremonial ritual. The next day on Monday, the couple went to church together with the bridesmaid, the best man, who had to be selected as part of the preparation prior to the wedding and the Godparents. After the church ceremony, the registration into the church book had to be made, so that the announcement of the couple’s intent to marry could be posted for the next four weeks. This was done for anyone to see and could voice any objections against this union if there were any.

     The fathers of the couple went on to sample wine with the groom and discuss various other preparations such as how many chicken or pigs, flour and other goods would be required for the wedding. The bride and the mothers went on to invite the wedding guests that usually took several days and discussed the preparation of the food and bakery. Naturally the size of the wedding depended on the wealth of the bride’s parents.

      On the day prior the wedding the “Hochzeitslader,” were two young men who received the list of guests from the mothers of the bridal pair. Their task was to go to the houses of the guests to bring greetings and personal invitations from the bride and groom, and to inform them when to meet at the groom’s house the next day. The wedding itself was a two-day affair held on a Tuesday and a Wednesday. On Tuesday morning the guests met at the house of the groom. The groom thanked his parents for his upbringing and asked for forgiveness for whatever deeds needed to be forgiven and took leave from his home. Before the wedding procession got under way the band began to play and the people began to sing the song, “Schön war die Jugend, sie kommt nicht mehr” (beautiful was our youth, it will never return). Then the wedding guests lined up in pairs, the small children in the front, the brass band next. Then the bridal girls in white (Kranzljungfern) followed by the groom, the best man with a bouquet of flowers and the traditional rosemary (Rosemarie) branches. The groom was wearing boots if he wore the old traditional costume and a hat decorated with myrtle (Marten). When the procession began, the young women followed behind the groom, then the older women, the parents of the groom and then the men.

     Upon arrival at the bride’s home the groom entered the room of the bride and said, “Jets triton war in den Headstand Ein. War geben und laden Jesus, Maria und Josef Ein” (Now we will enter into matrimony. We go and invite Jesus, Mary and Joseph). The bride wore her white wedding dress styled in the local custom, her headpiece also decorated with myrtle. In her hand she held her bridle bouquet decorated with rosemary and a prayer book. Now it was the bride’s turn to thank her parents for her upbringing and ask for forgiveness for whatever deeds needed to be forgiven and took leave from her home. The band began to play again and the people began to sing the song a second time, “Schön war die Jugend, sie kommt nicht mehr. Then the bridal party went on their way to the church, where the priest was already waiting for them.

      Following the exchange of the wedding vows, the sermon and mass, the bridal party moved on to the “Wirtshaus” or to the brides’ home to except the congratulations and begin the festivities with the bridal dance. After this short ceremony and picture taking one had to regroup for the evening festivities. The meals were always plentiful and exuberant preparations were made long before so that everything went as planned. After the invocation done by the priest it was time to eat. Some of the customary courses of the dinner were chicken soup (Hühnersuppe), whole chicken and beef (Rindfleisch) with horseradish (Kren also known as Pferderettich) and tomato sauce. There was veal paprikash (Kalbs Gulasch), stuffed cabbage (known as Sarmen originating from the French word sarment meaning grape wine), fresh bratwurst, veal and pork roast with celery roots. Then there was plenty of wine and sodas. The highlight of the dinner was a roasted turkey, which was a gift from the Godfather and Godmother to the bride and groom. After dinner speeches were made and best wishes uttered to the bride and groom, followed by the world’s famous bakery and torts of the Donauschwaben.

     Room was made for dancing and the band began to play again. Later during the evening a ceremonious headpiece exchange took place. The bridal crown was removed from the bride’s head by her mother and replaced by the Schlot (head piece) and Kopftuch (bandana), and once more the band played, “Schön war die Jugend, sie kommt nicht mehr”.

      Since the wedding was such a pompous feast, it lured many watchers (Hochzeitsschauer) to the scene besides the guests, who came to see and admire the bride and her bridesmaids. The celebration would go on past midnight into the morning, although the “Hochzeitsnarren” took the bride and groom home earlier and many of the guests had begun to leave. The “Hochzeitsnarren” were a group of fun loving young men who spit shined a team of horses and wagon accompanied by a band, which went from wedding to wedding taking the bride and groom home.

     On Wednesday breakfast was served, guests that went home to rest returned, the newly wed couple returned and the feast continued again. More meals were served, the band continued to play until all guests had gone home.

     The average age on which our ancestors married was younger than it is today. From information furnished by my ancestors in my Family tree, going back five generations; the statistics of 29 couples were as follows. Men, age 17 (1), 18 (1), 19 (2), 20 (3), 21 (5), 22 (5), 23 (4), 24 (4), 25 (2), 26 (1) and 35 (1). Women age 14 (1), 16 (4), 17 (9), 18 (3), 19 (2), 20 (5), 23 (3), 24 (1), and 25 (1). Going back one more generation we found the statistics of 20 couples. Men, age 18 (1), 19 (2), 20, (2), 21 (3), 22 (2), 23 (1), 24 (1), 26 (1), 27 (2), 31 (1), and 44 (1). Women age 15 (1), 16 (1), 17 (2), 18 (1), 20 (5), 21 (3), 23 (1), 26, (2) and 32 (1). From these statistics the average male married between the ages of twenty and twenty-four while the average age for the women was between sixteen and twenty-three.

Excerpts from the book “The Last Generation Forgotten and Left to Die” by Hans Kopp, with additions for the study of the history of the Donauschwaben, their heritage, customs and social mores.  All Rights reserved. ISBN No. 0-9701109-0-1. Copyright 1999 and 2006. Reproduction of this material for resale is prohibited by law.